Better Off Ted Wiki

Veridian Dynamics is an international mega corporation and conglomerate that works and deals with every field of life, mostly technological. It is morally fucked.

A stereotypically evil company, Veridian Dynamics, experiments on its employees, twists the truth, and will stop at nothing to achieve its goals. It has been mentioned that Veridian has swayed presidential elections, created killer pandas and robots, weaponized pumpkins, and that there are only three governments left in the world which are more powerful than Veridian. Although not promoted as such, and rarely the focus of storylines, the show's frequent references to futuristic technologies, killer robots, sentient computers, etc., places the show in the science fiction genre.

The characters are fully aware of Veridian's nature, and often try to manipulate the system in order to stop bad things from happening to them (and sometimes to mitigate the evil effects of some of Veridian's projects). They are also all susceptible to the potential rewards the company can offer despite the consequences of their actions, such as the company's attempt to hire Lem's mother, or the company's introduction of scented light bulbs with known flaws. Much of the comedy of the show comes from the characters' navigation of these morally ambiguous areas.

The use of mock commercials for Veridian Dynamics is used in the show, thematically related to individual episodes and placed at the end or beginning of actual commercial breaks in all but a couple of episodes of the show.

History of Veridian Dynamics[]

As Veridian Dynamics' history is mostly unknown, most of the segments found here are group head-canons used by the fans. All false information/head canons will be bolded.

The story of Veridian Dynamics began with Victor Vācùum, an American businessman who sold "Dynamical Vacuums", special vacuums he designed which works twice as fast and uses less energy. However, this wouldn't exactly pay off until he met Theodore Viridian, an intelligent man who was looking for causes to fund and he found one in Victor. With Theodore's help, Victor was able to better market his vacuums

He also started a website called "Victor's Dynamics, Viridian Assistance".

In the December of 1999, the Heisenberg Certainty Generator was finally developed and ready for active testing

Rivals and Competitors[]

Products, Inventions and Projects (Under Reconstruction)[]

Note: Some products may appear in multiple lists so to keep track of what products are in what lists, we have devised a specialized system: Products in list

Released Products = (RP/)[]

  • Wheelchair that climbs stairs and have brakes. (S1, E10)
  • The Focus Master (office chairs made of a black fabric material that are extremely uncomfortable and cause madness with time. They increase productivity by reducing comfort.) / (S1, E1)
  • Veridian Dynamics Belt Buckles (S2, 13)
  • State-of-the-art motion sensors that work by detecting light reflected off the skin (making it unable to see dark skinned individuals). The motion sensors can be connected to various systems including lights, doors, water fountains, elevators. (S1, E4)
  • Weaponized pumpkins that kill people using powdery mildew disease mutated/designed to attack human cell structure cause enemies to grow a magnificent soft downy coating and die as mold. (S1, E1)
  • Spy drone. (S1, E1)
  • A chemical that can rapidly freeze live animal tissue without it exploding, however this is a chance the person's eye will burst at -20 degrees). (S1, E1)
  • Macaroni and Cheese that causes blindness and never gets hot (It probably isn't Macaroni and Cheese) (S1, E2)
  • A cyborg that can kill without remorse and cannot distinguish between soldiers and children, it kills whatever's in front of it. (S1, E2)
  • “Johnny” (a biological computer) (S1, E9)
  • State-of-the-art motion sensors that work by detecting light reflected off the skin (making it unable to see dark skinned individuals). The motion sensors can be connected to various systems including lights, doors, water fountains, elevators.
  • Meals-Ready-To-Eat (S2, E8)
    • Has Ethiopian stew that forms an unbreakable arch support in your foot when hardened.
  • Deadly new weapons system (that looks like a nuke)
  • A sticky gooey substance invented for a line of diet foods.
  • Solar powered ovens whose plastic leaches toxins into food when exposed to sunlight. (Can be fixed by using a more expensive material: like the plastic using inside their bomb casings.
  • Energy patches that look like Band-Aid and cause wildly erratic emotions as a residual effect.
  • Jet packs that can go sixty miles per hour in any direction.
  • Octo-chicken (a weird bird with eight legs and lives in a web) / (It was probably a failure)
  • Taste-Altering Brain Implant (a nano-device that when placed into a subject’s brain causes everything, they eat to taste sweet)
  • Weight-loss toothpaste (Stolen by Digivation Industries) (S1, E11)
  • Synthetic skin grafts
  • Unbreakable Plates
  • Solar wall paint can absorb the sun's energy, cutting heating costs.
  • Purification straw (any water you drink through it no matter how polluted becomes safe for consumption)

Bad Products = (BP/)[]

Any product that is designed with negative flaws that are acknowledged and fixed/replaced by company.

  • A perfume that reacts with the body chemistry of three out of 5,000 women causing them to attract hornets who want to mate with them. (Developed about a year before the events of “Trust and Consequence”) (S1, E10)
  • W

Unreleased Products = (UP/)[]

Products that were not or haven't been released to the public.

  • Soldier-tracking G.P.S. underwear (never got past the testing phase) (S1, E10)
  • Talking Frying Pan (Failed Experiment) / (S2, E10)
  • Project B-175-9 (a substance that can kill anything, it was probably supposed be a cleaning chemical) / (they couldn’t sell it) (S
  • Blobby (Cow-less meat) / (S1, E2)

Projects = (P/)[]

  • The Jabberwocky Project (A fake project created by Ted as a lie)
  • Dopper Project (a project that Linda was working on and hated)
  • Galaxy Omega Project.
  • The Heisenberg Certainty Generator - RP/
  • An unnamed project involving fabric softener that would have caused all the aborigines in Australia to lose their sense of smell.

Unexplained Products/Projects = (UPP/)[]

Products/Projects can have not been explained enough to put them in a different category.

  • An assassin that’s a panda. (S1, E10)
  • Super-Fast-Growing Moss that’s supposed to feed astronauts (For NASA) / (S
  • A metal that's as hard as steel but can bounce like rubber and is edible. (S1, E1)
  • A computer mouse that can stand temperatures up to 195 degrees. (S1, E1)
  • Pill that makes people shop.
  • Car that can run on saltwater.
  • Retinal scan technology (S1, E2)
  • The next generation of pepper spray. (S1, E2)
  • Fire Flowers (bioluminescent flowers) - Unknown if they were released.
  • Fire squirrel (a bioluminescent squirrel) - Unknown if it was released.


As an international organization with a wide variety of interests, it has a ton of employees from around the globe. The Employee Format is as follows:

Name / Job Title / Department.

Employees of The Los Angeles Branch[]

  • Dr. Bhamba / Research & Development Scientist / Research & Development Department
  • Dale / ? / ? (Has a little hand and a big hand, like a clock)
  • Janet S. Crotum / Head of Human Resources / Human Resources Department
  • Jim / Unknown, possibly Head of Marketing / Marketing Department / (S1, E6) "Goodbye, Mr. Chips"
  • Lem Hewitt / Research & Development Scientist / Research & Development Department
  • Linda Zwordling / Testing Coordinator / Product Testing Department
  • Phil Mymen / Research & Development Scientist / Research & Development Department
  • Ryan / Security Guard / Security (QUIT)
  • Ted Crisp / Head of Research & Development / A Research & Development Department
  • Veronica Palmer / Executive and Ted's Boss / Most likely The Management Department
  • Pete Gilroy Head of Research & Development / A Research & Development Department
  • Cindy (R&D scientist?)
  • Lester (R&D scientist?)
  • Jerry (R&D scientist?)
  • Jerome / Food Taster? / The Food Division?
  • Wallace / Food Taster? / The Food Division?
  • Chet / Veronica Palmer’s Boss / Most likely The Management Department
  • Debbie (?) / (?)
  • Walter Palmer (?) / (?)
  • (First Name Unknown) Pudberger (?) / (?)
  • Mark (?), (?)
  • Roger (?), (?)
  • Paul / ? / Accounting
  • Dewey / Security guard/ ?
  • Ritchie / R&D scientist /
  • Rick / ? / ? (Makes too many copies)

Employees of possible India branch[]

  • Miriam / (?) / (Payroll)


  • Legal Department
  • Research and Development Departments:
  • Product Testing Department
  • Human Resources Department
  • Security Department
  • The Food Division
  • Management Department
  • Accounting
    • Payroll
  • IT Department (Information Technology Department)
  • Marketing Department
  • Corporate Intelligence
  • Engineering
  • Workplace Daycare

Veridian Dynamics Branches[]

  • The Veridian Dynamics Los Angeles Branch Office
  • The Veridian Dynamics Hong Kong Office
  • The Veridian Dynamics Luxembourg Branch Office

Locations in the Los Angeles Branch Office Building[]

Note: As we do not have a name for the building that the Veridian Dynamics’ Crew works at, we will call the building: The Los Angeles Branch (named after the place production happened). The Los Angeles Branch has at least eight floors.

  • Lobby (has the company’s motto engraved in the floor.) / (Never seen on screen)
  • Room XA-1201: Ted’s office
  • Room XA-1214: Veronica’s office
  • Room XB-0107: Testing room
  • Room XB-0108: Walter’s Former Office (Basement Level)
  • Room XC-5012: "The Ridiculously Tiny Office" (Temporary Office for Dr. Bamba)
  • Room XD-1107: Product Testing
  • Room XB-1029 Laboratory (R&D 063's Lab)
  • Room XA-1208: Jeffrey Bouchard’s Office
  • The room where the Bio-Computer is kept is right above the cubicles (where Linda works).
  • The Cubicles (where Linda works)
  • Wallace's Office (Basement Level)
  • Executive Dining Room
  • Basement
  • Conference Room
  • XA-1214 (Meeting Room?)
  • Cafeteria
  • Sub-Basement

Policies, Rules, and Memos[]

As the show focuses on the Los Angeles branch, these policies, rules, and memos may only deal with that one branch.


  • Employees must NOW use offensive or insulting language in the workplace.
    • Employees can’t swear at each other. (Made because of a groundswell of opinions) / (apparently there was a typo with the word groundswell making the word groundsmell instead).

Company Memos[]

Like most companies Veridian Dynamics sends its employees memos, usually about new rules and procedures. Most of these come from (S2, E522) “The Impertence of Communicationizing“.

List of such memos:

  • Memo: M-314: Employees must NOW use offensive or insulting language in the workplace. (A typo caused the word “now”to replace the actual word “not”)
  • Offscreen memo saying people have to follow memos.
  • Offscreen memo announcing Casual Fribsday (a typo of “Casual Friday”)
  • Offscreen memo urged all employees to “carpoop” (a typo of “carpool)
  • Offscreen memo saying that employees (or at least Phil & Lem) didn’t have to work on Thanksgiving.
  • Offscreen memo stating that employees (or at least Phil & Lem) were supposed to be wearing lead aprons when they were working on a genital X-Ray project.
  • Offscreen memo announcing the promotion of Veronica Palmer (The memo appears to have errors, as it congratulates V. Palmer for the job, while wishing Walter Palmer well) / (happened five years before the episode “The Impertence of Communicationizing“) / (Memo was probably written in 2005)


  • Veridian Dynamics tried to replace the food in the cafeteria with nutrition pellets.
  • The following two bulletpoints imply the company uses the word "weeee" on various things or content to make it seem funnier than it is.
    • Veridian Dynamics made an employee genetic compatibility chart to save money on healthcare. It was titled "Wheee... Love is in the air, compatibility chart.
    • The company had a similar thing called "Wheee... It’s pension rollbacks” where they rolled back employee pension.


  • Though Veridian Dynamics is a large international organization with only three governments more powerful than it, it does have at least one rival: Digivation Industries
  • Veridian Dynamics' motto is "Money Before People" in Latin.
  • They made a mistake that caused a million fish in Lake Michigan to grow fur.
  • There are only three governments more powerful than Veridian Dynamics, who these governments are is unknown.
  • The voices-over for the Veridian Dynamics commercials are done by Portia de Rossi.
  • At the end of Veridian Dynamics commercials, they have single word followed by a short sentence or another word like: FAMILY. YUY.
  • Veridian has A. A. Meetings in the basement. (Possibly only the Los Angeles Office)
  • They have a single dads club. (Possibly only the Los Angeles Office)
  • They swayed a presidential election in Iceland.
  • According to the “Don't Cross Us Commercial” they have over 100,000 employees.
  • Has an executive dining room. (Possibly only the Los Angeles Office)
  • Legal Statements:
    • They did not freeze Phil.
    • They don't know for sure what that chamber was that he entered willingly.
    • Their latest theory is that he may have been attempting to perform a magic trick.
  • According to Ted, Veridian Dynamics is one of the largest companies in America.
  • The accounting department at Veridian Dynamics have invented a number for tax purposes and have not been sued for it (yet?).
  • Veridien Dynamics once sent Phil Mymen a message offering a free vasectomy.
  • The Los Angeles Office had a toxic gas leak.
  • The Los Angeles Office P.A system sucks.
  • The Los Angeles' P.A system message list:
    • Toxic gas leak! Exit the building immediately!
    • Hola! It’s Fajita Day in the cafeteria!